“There are moments when you'll have a different point of view because you're a fresh set of eyes; because you don't care how it's been done before; because you're sharp and creative; because there is another way, a better way.
But there will also be moments when you have a different point of view because you're wrong, because you're 23 and you should shut up and listen to somebody who's been around the block.” -John Lovett, former speechwriter for Pres. Obama
I was trolling must-reads-for-your-lunch-hour and came across this quotation in a list of those offered during commencement addresses. And I must say, I connected with it.
Our newsroom recently had a major overhaul in how shows were done (new graphics package, control room equipment, etc.). As a newbie, I was hardly used to the old way. I felt like one of the few ready to tackle the new technology head-on.
I also recently turned 23. And also, recently, learned to shut up.
So, here it goes...
I'M NOT GOOD AT MY JOB.
There, I said it. Quite frankly, I basically had someone say it for me at work, and I ruminated (angrily) over it for days.
Then, the anger turned to acceptance, and even a hopeful calm.
I have barely been producing live television for 6 months. There is no WAY I can be good at my job. As a straight-A student/former valedictorian and top scholar in my department, it's a hard thing for me to admit. Up to now, everything's been easy. Everything has built on everything I learned before. I got firm instruction before I was ever allowed to touch anything.
Now, I must accept that things have flipped. They expect me to touch things and learn. It's not building on what I've learned before, because such equipment wasn't there before. It's new even for those who have been around the producing block.
Now I have to accept that a C or a B is pretty dang good. I can't go home and cry every time someone points out a mistake I made. As my boss once told me, I'll make plenty in my career, so I should simply learn how to correct it for the future and get ready to make my next one. (Here, I must thank my superiors who have never had an unkind word or criticism to say to me. They'll very gently push me to be better. They'll offer a "You put together a great show, but... here's how to make it even more steller in the future, but it really was good.")
So, why do I say "hopeful calm" when a peer complained about how I was doing my job? This hearkens back to me learning humility, learning to be the 23 year old who just shuts up.
When I realize I'm not perfect and that I still have something to learn, I'm actually open to learning. I can't fall back on my degree and think I have a right to be there. Believe me, I don't. I have absolutely no right to be working in a top-40 market one year out of college. I've gotten advice from multiple producers, directors, editors and managers. They have been around the block, and by being humble and getting over the fact that I'm not a straight-A producer, I feel no shame walking up to them, admitting I suck and asking for help.
I heard multiple times in the Honors Program about the value of being a lifelong learner. Suddenly, I'm realizing how important that actually is. My degree does NOT mean I know what I'm doing. It means I spent four years learning how to learn, how to find mentors who will work with me to make me into what I want to be.
So no, I'm not good at my job. But thanks to my education, and realizing sometimes I need to ask for help, I'm always better at my job. And, hopefully, one day, I'll be good enough for my toughest critic : myself.
